I was observing myself the other day. I was observing what I was feeling and what I was thinking, specifically about photography. And in this time of gift giving and gift receiving I was thinking about all the many things I would love to receive as a gift. Lately I’ve been wanting a digital rangefinder camera along the likes of a Fuji x100 or Fuji XPro-1 as many of my friends have switched to from larger dSLR bodies.
I began to notice all the justifications in my brain about what I could do with these new, smaller, quieter camera bodies and their fantastic lenses and lack of AA filter. And I noticed that I thought – well, actually believed – that my photography would improve if I had one of those cameras. That my pictures would be better. That more people would see and like my work. That my website would get more traffic. That I would receive more praise. That I would like my pictures more. That I could move about more freely with these smaller cameras.
And some of that might be true. But, you know, really I need more time.
I need time to work on projects. I need time to follow ideas through. I need time to process and organize and make books and upload and, and, and.
And I need time to spend with my wife and kids. And time to play. And time to read. And time to settle into my skin. And time to work.
And I began to realize that I need time. And if I need time, then that is what I need most.
And as I steadfastly approach my mid century of life I look back and realize it has all gone so fast so far. And while my best years might still be yet to come, I believe I have fewer of them. I look at my parents, my siblings, my friends, and I see the unmistakable marks of age and experience on their bodies and this mirrors back to me to be aware and present to that most precious and finite of commodities.
Time.
We have all we have, I suppose. And we have plenty of it, for now. (I’m certain I will argue that point in the end.)
But here it is: new camera? Or time?
A new camera won’t improve my photography, my way of seeing, my way of telling a story. But, if I apply what time there is well, I just might. Just me, awareness, and time.
I’d trade everything I have for time.
I am coming to that awareness slowly myself, Tom. Though I do like toys a bit too much still…
“Timmmmmee…is on my side.” Is it though, really? Guess if one is a glass half full type of person. Yes, you’re right, Brian…it’s in short supply. I think we all struggle with this, trying to gain purchase over our lives of family, work, passions. There is no exact formula for balance. Some days it is what it is. New cameras, as you said, won’t give us a sharper eye…maybe just a sharper image. But that doesn’t make it a better image.
Keep on keepin’ on.
~ Mark
I LOVE that you quote those effervescent moss-less fellows of eternal youthfulness, Mark. 🙂
Yep, just a reflection on my personal mortality, I suppose. In the meantime I try to leave something for my kids and community.
I have been thinking about time a lot lately. It’s so precious and there’s so little of it. And there’s lots to do in it. Good post Brian 🙂 Lucy approves ha!
Yay Lucy!! (She has good taste, you know. 😉
I have chosen a life that gives me more free time than most – and I try to make the best of it. Still, always feel I should do more, time always runs out, time runs too fast when I want it to slow down, runs too slow when I want to skip ahead. I think I would make a good real Doctor Who, time-lord with a time machine, hate getting old, hate running out of time, hate endings.
Time is like money and camera gear – one never has enough. What matters is what you do with what you have.
Cameras won’t built relationships (the #1 ay?) no manner how small. Time on the other hand…
Working on that. But still, cameras and lenses are sooooo pretty! 😉
I’m in a similar situation in such that I have little time right now for photography due to being busy with family incl. our two year old daughter. Strangely enough I’m also very much interested in the Fuji X-Series cameras.
I know getting one will not improve my photography per se but I do know it would be more manageable to take out and about that my DSLR. Those times when you ‘can’t be bothered’ to take a big DSLR on trips and you can take say a Fuji instead. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve missed shots for not having a half-decent camera on me other than my mobile phone all because I left my DSLR at home.
Just a thought…
Yep, right there with you Paul. I’ve been thinking exactly the same thing. But lately I’ve just taken to carrying around my backup camera (a Nikon D80) with a 50mm lens. It’s lighter and a bit smaller than other cameras….and it is what I have available, so….
But still, an X-Series camera….
Ah yes, the immemorial and eternal, pain-in-our-asses time. I think we all suffer from the lack of it and have trouble to break out of its chains. Constantly pushed forward without the opportunity to ever get back – this is our curse as human beings. I’m with Flemming – i’d so wish to have TARDIS on my side. As to the choice – i’d definitely choose some extra hours a day for groving my photography and developing personal projects over new, fancy camera. As now and as in the final settlement there’s no brainer for me that time is the most precious thing we got here
You seem to be doing pretty well with what you have right now, Radek. 🙂